In my Cenacle

(on Pentecost, 2013)

 

In my Cenacle,

my upper room sanctuary,

where Your fire consumed me

in my baptism to turn into You,

will i ever remain

so ‘close’ to You,

my tender, Divine Consoler,

as You heal the wounds

i have borne in my blood and bones,

as You tend to deprivations and damage

with such gentleness, such minute ministrations,

reminding me it’s all right now

to release all the soul-seated hurt

that i’d been through

and with all its unregulated growths

of malignant neoplasm of

invasive anger, frustration,

irritability, dissatisfaction,

self-hate, self-pity, and vengeful grudging

uncontrollably engulfing my inner core –

all awash in my own bitter tears

as you cleanse me of my self-righteous

hurt pride and exaggerated sense of injustice,

releasing now all those that i had buried

with these emotional metastasized shackles

bearing all the weight of accumulated resentment …

 

and as i learn at last to let all go,

does it dawn on me

that this is what forgiving is all about:

setting such insidious enemies free

and thus being freed myself

from the prison dungeons

deep within my own soul –

 

Your consolations only proving

You favoring me in such special ways

(not to make up for the past)

but to reassure me that the goodness

You have already poured into me

is meant to take away from me

my guilt, unworthiness and misery,

and learn to accept the new self

that You have awakened in me

the renewed self that now lives in You

 

as You renew my life in You,

to venture out, living in You,

looking for others like me

whom You have sought out

to subtly touch with Your Life,

O Spirit of Love.

 

from Spirit of Love verses 121124/touched up on 130516
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